I used to be down and sad all the time....and you know who knew it?? NO ONE except me and God. I used to put a smile on my face, go out have fun, and acted the way that I thought everyone else wanted me to act. I did not want to be the sad/depressed friend. So I went out, got in a lot of trouble, did alot of things I am not proud of, got in TONS of debt....and for what?? TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY! I wanted to be the life of the party and I was.
Soon I realized that was not going to cut it in the long run. I changed my ways. I stopped going out [for the most part], I stopped hanging out with the friends that brought me down and only wanted to be around me if I was partying or buying things. I changed and believe me it was not over night but I also didn't become the "party girl" overnight either. I felt so much better about myself. I slowly got myself out of debt. Got an amazing job. Realized who my TRUE friends were. Starting talking to God again. It was a slow process and by all means are no where near where I want to be.
I was so happy but something else was missing and I could never put my finger on it. Until one day, God told me to find out about Advocare. I know that I have said this and I will continue to say this. GOD led me to Advocare. GOD put it in my heart to find out more. GOD has put some AMAZING people in my life. GOD has been there the whole time even when I didn't think anyone in the world cared. GOD WAS THERE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
Today is day 11 of my Advocare journey and it is apparent that I am doing so much better than I was 11 days ago. Who would have thought?!!? I can't believe how I feel. I can't believe the compliments I have received. I can't believe that I am starting to feel like me again before all this mess.
I pray like 5541545 times a day not only for me but for me to be a testimony to others about God's great power and love for me and for them. I can't wait to be able to tell others--HEY I have been in your shoes and it is not easy but there is a solution out there. GOD loves you and only wants what is best for you. Pray to Him and He will show you the way.
I can't wait to throw habits out the door and start with new ones. The life as I once KNEW it....
I saw this quote the other day and it has stuck with me since....
"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."
I am not where near where I need to be but I am on my way. I may slip up and I may fail but I know there is someone guiding my every single footstep.
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